I'm James Patterson.

I write way too many books.

I've been called prolific. I hate that word.

So now I'm going to try to totally screw up Substack.

I think I can do it.

I really do. I have confidence in myself.

So welcome to Hungry Dogs.

The title comes from my maternal grandmother, Isabel Zelvis Morris.

Nan used to always say, hungry dogs run faster.

And I've been running fast ever since.

This three times a week feature on Substack is hopefully going to run fast too.

Here's what will be coming your way soon.

Exclusive filmed interviews that I'm calling HUMAN-TO-HUMAN, at least for the moment.

No sneaky hardballs, no boring softballs, no irritating politics, just human to human talk.

I've already recorded interviews with authors David Baldacci, Elin Hilderbrand, T.J. Newman, and Kwame Alexander.

I'm calling in favors, reaching out to President Clinton, Bob Woodward, Peggy Noonan, the author S.A. Cosby, Eric Trump, Dolly Parton, Viola Davis, Pope Francis…okay, I'm not reaching out to Pope Francis. I couldn't handle having him hear my confession. It would be too much for him.

But trust me, this ain't going to be CNN or MSNBC or Fox.

You're also going to be hearing from my sketchy, totally untrustworthy co-writers talking behind my back, telling you all of my most personal tricks and secrets and idiosyncratic behavior and whatever. I don't even know what they're going to say. They're on their own.

There'll be a weekly column called STOP THE INSANITY. It won't stop the insanity, but it will be fun. At least sometimes.

There's FREE WEDNESDAYS.

Yep.

Everything on Wednesday is free.

It will feature free excerpts from some of my books, sometimes unpublished books.

I'm even going to give you one of my favorite book outlines, and that should be illuminating.

Plus some other free shit, like used pencils that I've been chewing on and writing with, and some free autographed books, and some really cool stuff I'll think up later.

Maybe copies of books I love by other writers, like Different Seasons by my good buddy Stephen King.

I'll also be writing about the ten and a half secrets of writing big bestsellers.

I might even try giving away some money to help struggling writers.

There's an idea.

I know you probably don't believe it, but I was there once upon a time.

I was a struggling writer.

I get it.

In the beginning, I lived in this 30 bucks a week hotel in New York, quite the depressing flop house.

My room was maybe 8 by 10, totally wallpapered.

The wallpaper consisted of thousands and thousands of tiny pendants.

Some previous lodger, maybe another struggling writer, had penciled an X into every single pendant.

I hope you'll stay tuned.

Remember, we're going to bring down Substack, and it's going to be a hell of a lot of fun.

Hungry dogs run faster.

Thank you, Grandma, for turning me into a hopeless, obsessive compulsive.