I’m James Patterson.
I write way too many books. I’m called prolific. I hate that word.
Now I’m going to try to totally screw up Substack. (I think I can do it. I really do.)
So welcome to Hungry Dogs!
The title comes from my maternal grandmother, Isabelle Zelvas Morris. Nan used to always say, “Hungry dogs run faster.”
I’ve been running fast ever since.
And this three-times-a-week feature on Substack is hopefully going to run fast too.
Here’s what’ll be coming your way soon.
Exclusive filmed interviews that I’m calling Human-to-Human.
No sneaky hardballs. No boring softballs. No irritating politics. Just human-to-human talk.
I’ve already recorded interviews with authors David Baldacci, Elin Hilderbrand, T. J. Newman, and Kwame Alexander.
I’m calling in favors, reaching out to President Clinton, Bob Woodward, Peggy Noonan, the author S.A. Cosby, Eric Trump, Dolly Parton, Viola Davis…Pope Francis.
Okay. I’m not reaching out to Pope Francis…I couldn’t handle having him hear my confession.
But trust me, this ain’t gonna be CNN or MSNBC or FOX.
You’re also going to be hearing from my sketchy, totally untrustworthy co-writers talking behind my back. Telling you all of my most personal tricks and secrets.
There’ll be a weekly column called Stop The Insanity.
One early diatribe is about giving some love to The Haters. What a delightful, online crew they are. The Haters definitely need more love in their lives. And I’m going to give them some tough love!
Another Stop The Insanity piece will deal with the book burners AKA the book banners.
A couple of pieces will expose the kind of crap, the unthinkable stories that come out of dealing with healthcare in this sometimes cruel and unusual country of ours.
Plus, a sure to be juicy, definitely controversial piece about how Hollywood screenwriters are treated like doormats.
Free Wednesdays (yep, everything on Wednesday is free) will feature free excerpts from some of my books. I’m even going to give you one of my favorite book outlines. That should be…illuminating.
Plus some other free shit like used pencils that I’ve been chewing on and writing with, some free autographed books -- and some really cool stuff I’ll think up later. Maybe copies of books I loved by other writers like Different Seasons by my good buddy Stephen King.
I’ll also be writing about the 10 & 1/2 secrets of writing big bestsellers. I’ll tell you how anybody can do it.
Or how I write non-fiction like The Last Days of John Lennon, Walk in My Combat Boots, and Filthy Rich (the book that outed Jeffrey Epstein).
I might even try giving away some money to help struggling writers.
I know you probably don’t believe it, but I was there once upon a time. A struggling writer. I get it.
In the beginning, I lived in this thirty bucks a week hotel in New York. Quite the depressing flop house. My room was maybe 8x10. Totally wallpapered. The wallpaper consisted of thousands and thousands of tiny pendants. Some previous lodger – maybe another struggling writer - had penciled an “X” into every single pendant.
I hope you’ll stay tuned. Remember, we’re going to bring down Substack.
This is gonna be fun.
Hungry Dogs Run Faster.
Thank you, grandma, for turning me into a hopeless obsessive-compulsive.
There will be a lot of video, which is a much better experience in the Substack app:
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